9 times you should always say no to your kid if you want them to be happy and successful adults

kid

Saying "no" to kids can be a reflex for many parents.
But saying it too often can have lasting damage.
However, there are some scenarios where you should never be afraid to tell a kid no.
Parenting expert Laura Markham shares nine times parents should say "no" to their kids.

Parents say no a lot. It's a reflex response, and often instinctual. For a child, hearing the word no too often does have a lasting effect on them.

According to child psychologist Laura Markham, Ph.D., author of "Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids" and founder of the lifesaving website Aha! Parenting, saying no to kids makes them think inside the box. "The child shuts down," she says, "They feel their initiatives are shut down."

As a parent, I want to say yes to my son all the time. Even when I need to say no, I try my damndest to give him some kind of affirmation. But hearing the word no is important, too. According to Dr. Markham, saying no to your child helps with setting boundaries and limits, which aid in their development — emotionally, physically and mentally. Never saying it, Markham says, can leave children ill-equipped to deal with the real world.

Below, Markham shared nine times you should always say no to your kid.

1. In a parking lot

Kids are too short to be seen by the cars driving around parking lots. "They can be killed," says Markham. "That's not something you mess with."

You must tell children to hold your hand in the parking lot "no matter what," or if you trust that your child will hold on to your stroller or bag or belt loop that's fine, too. Be transparent, yet empathic, Markham says: "You don't run in the parking lot away from me, you stay next to me. You can die."

2. If your kid is hurting others

Toddlers don't understand if they're hurting the dog or cat, but if they are, it's a situation worthy of a definite no. Markham suggests to show compassion. "Say, 'Poor kitty, poor doggy. Be nice to the kitty,'" she recommends.

3. If they're witnessing or taking part in bullying

This one tests a child's inner radar. "If someone is being mean to another kid — even if the person who's being mean is a good friend of yours and the other kid is someone you don't really know or even like — you do not join in making someone feel bad," Markham instructs parents to tell their kids.

See the rest of the story at Business Insider

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